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"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used
up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming WOW! What a Ride!!
Author: The Swamp Queen
Here are some anecdotes, not in any order, just put in here as I think of them. They are all true and anyone who knows me will testify to my tongue-in-cheek outlook on life.
We crossed the border into Québec with our
1975 Peace 'n Love and the customs agent pulled us over and went through the van
checking everything. After he told us that he always wanted to see what the
inside of one of these vans looked like.
Went down to New Orleans in the same rig and the motor
had just been overhauled and we noticed a thin layer of oil accumulating on the
entire back of the van. We'd gas up, put in some oil and continue. Did the
entire trip like that only to get home and find that we had a hairline crack in
the manifold.
The toolbox I had for the West was special. This was
an auxiliary tool box which was actually a "Doofer" box. ( Do fer now
until we get something better). In it I kept some instruments and remedies such
as a roll of duct tape, baling wire, waterproof lithium grease, a mirror, a pair
of panty hose*, lots of fuses, WD-40, an oil filter, spare needlenose pliers,
nail clippers, a headband with a flaslight attached to it, the kind used for
night skiing, and a note taped to the cover reminding me to remain in high
spirits whatever may come around.
* Panty hose can be a substitute for straps for alternators, fans etc.
Coming through customs has never been the highlite of
my day. So to deal with this opportunity to possibly mess up their day, I pull
in, shut the radio off, take of my sunglasses, look them in the eyes, have my
passport in hand and after the usual questions I hand the person all the
receipts of any purchases I have made. When they ask me anything else, I reply
that all is on the papers. They have no more questions to ask. Often I come in
with more than I am allowed, but they do not even bother to check the receipts.
Sometimes folks inquire about a good campground and
recreational area within a three-hour drive. My favorite, depending on who I am
dealing with, is to send them to a very nice campground along side of a lake and
give them directions to a beach which cannot be seen from the campsite......this
beach is a nudist beach. Ha!
In Florida the Wal-Mart at North Ft. Meyers or Ft.
Meyers was shut down to overnight parking because some idiot had a bike stolen
off of his rig during the night and sued Wal-Mart for lack of surveillance!
The Wal-Mart manager at Ft. Walton Beach refused to
let me spend the night there claiming that there was a county ordonance against
overnight parking. The manager for the Ft. Walton Wal-Mart a few miles north of
there told me that there was no problem. I asked about the ordonance, to which
he replied, "Ordonance? What ordonance?" We did four days food
shopping in his store.
Supposing you are going to Key West and want to take
the boat to Dry Tortugas for the day. Well , you can buy your ticket and spend
the night in the parking lot there. THEN upon your arrival at 5:00, you can
bargain with the fellow for a cheap rate for another night. Or you can go to
Boyd's and pay big.
Was in a town in Ontario and after asking the clerk in
the Chamber of Commerce to send an email for me, I also asked to park overnight
in back. Then the next night we went across the street and used the hotel's
sports center, for a small tarif, and then slept in their parking lot.
One time I went out for a walk early and left my shoes
outside the camper and went in and went back to sleep. A postal worker from
across the street saw the shoes, and called the police, she thought we were dead.
On the Gaspé Peninsula in a small village, l'Anse-à-Beau-fils
we set up in back of an abandoned building next to a marina. Beautiful view on
the ocean, and we discovered a shower in the club house, and a laundry. Well now!
While visiting Percé that became our base of operations.
While on the same trip, we dropped anchor at l'Anse-à-Valleau
on the north shore of the Peninsula shortly before dark. There were two or three
other campers nearer the marina office. After dark a man came over to me and
informed me that I was on private proerty and that overnight parking was only
for members. However, he remained about thirty feet away from me, so as I could
not distinguish his face, however his voice seemed familiar...It was, it was
that of a friend in town here. small world, isn't it?
One of the nicest campgrounds I have stayed in is the
Forest Hills Campground, at Winchester, N.H.
While tooling east from Lapeer, Mi. to Sarnia, Ont. at
the extreme end of the speed spectrum of the Peace 'n Love, 55 mph, the gas
pedal suddenly fell on the floor! Huh? Pulled over, and looked underneath and
the throttle linkage from the rear-end mounted motor to the gas pedal had
broken. Of all the dumb things to break, this was the tops. Out came the Doofer
Box and ty-rapped it until Port Huron where we found an Old Volks shop.
Tuba City, in Arizona I think, on the Navajo
Reservation we had a coffee at McDonald's and decided to sleep over. We asked
the McDo bossman who then referred me to the chief of police who asked me for my
driver's license, registration, reason for being there and I felt like a
criminal. You can bet your last nickel that the next morning his first
coffee was not done and we were tail lights heading east.
We left Québec in mid-March last year and finally, one
morning, woke up in Silver City, N.M. some tome in April. We woke up with three
inches of snow on us!
While in Palos Duras/Duros Canyon, south of Amarillo (which
is one neat place) we heard a strange noise outside, and lo and behold there
were at least two dozen turkeys walking by us.
Las Vegas. Found a municipal parking lot across from
the Mirage and for five dollars per day we parked there. Well, for twenty years
I had a maple sugar cabin and when we leave on a trip I always bring along a
half-gallon to share. So this first night in Las Vegas, late in the evening I
was talking to the attendant, a very interesting fellow. As we talked I got an
idea and offered him a coffee cup of syrup, which he had never tasted. He was
happy beyond belief, and asked me if I was staying another night. I said that we
intended to spend one more night there and he told us we could park for free. So
now, two nights in Vegas, on the Strip for five bucks!
When visiting Boston we go to Hingham to the ferry
landing, sleep there and catch the boat over the next morning. The boat docks
right near Quincy Market.
A Bit of Europe
Over there we traveled in a '72 West owned and
paid for by our daughter. There were four of us in that thing and it was
wall-to-wall good times. The day we were to leave from southwestern Germany to
Switzerland, the thing wouldn't start. We went to Lauterbrunen, a valley in the
Alps where we woke up to snow on July 1st, and by noon people were sunbathing.
I bought some goat butter and stunk up the camper.
At Venice we took the bus from the campground to the
city, and no one thought to reember the name of the campground. We got the last
bus out, there are many campgrounds out there and in the dark I do not know how
we found ours.
Yes, at the Hofbraü Haus in Munich you can stand on
the table and sing.
At the campground outside of Munich, there were
fourteen Westfalias all lined up together. Even one from New Zealand. They were
probably all leaking oil!
Attended a wine Fest at Goxvillers in
Alsace. Danced all night, tasted local wines, ate flammenkuchen, got woke up by
the pastor at 7:00 the next morning as we were parked directly in front of his
church. Retired to the soccer field parking lot.
Next night we went to the next village, Andlau and
danced, sampled wine and ate flammenkuchen all night.
Got a campground at Ribeauvillé, enjoyed local fare, and I bicycled home from
there, a three and a half hour pedal job.
Woke up one morning in an apple orchard in northern
Italy. They had a festival there Saturday night and we figured no one would
notice us Sunday morning. Come Sunday morning the whole village, it seemed, was
out working the fields! We got back on the road.
